In the last article, I outlined the five Don’ts or the “GAFFS” to help you improve your negotiating skills and outcomes. Today we’ll take a look at the first of these five Don’ts or the “G”. The rest of the Don’ts will be covered in the next series of articles.
The first of these is Don’t: Give anything away without getting something in return. When you indicate that you are willing to give something to the other party, make it very clear that you are making a concession and that you expect something in return. The thing to remember is that negotiating is like trading; it is not a one way street where all concessions favor one party.
The key is that to achieve a satisfactory outcome, both parties must be satisfied with the final agreement. To make that happen will require both parties making concessions along the way. Just make sure the other party understands they are gaining something each time you concede a point and also make sure that you get something in return before the negotiations have concluded.
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We now have covered five key things you must do if you are going to achieve a successful outcome in your negotiations. Equally as important are the things you should not do if you are going to be satisfied with your negotiated outcome.
Today’s article will begin to focus on the “Don’ts” or the “GAFFS”.
When you look these over you’ll soon realize that they are fundamental to success in every negotiation. Every experienced negotiator already has these tips ingrained. This is not to say that they are the only tips you need to remember, but once you have included them in your negotiating arsenal, they certainly will go a long way to helping you achieve more successful and satisfactory agreements.
Similar to what we did when reviewing the “5 R’s”, I have left the list of “GAFFS” only partially complete so you can think about filling in the blanks.
Here are the tips that have worked for me:
DON’T (The GAFFS)
1. Give something away without ____________________
2. Accept the _____________________________________
3. Fill every void in the _________________________
4. Focus on the_________; instead focus on the ____
5. Set arbitrary __________________________________
The next few articles will fill in the blanks and provide more information about each of these power negotiating tips. In the meantime, have fun filling in the blanks.
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Well here we are at power negotiating tip number five of the “5 R’s” which simply put is: Read the body language of others.
Learning to read the body language of other people at the negotiating table as well as the other people in the room will provide you with a wealth of information. Body language or body signals are like “tells” at the card table. You need to focus on what other people are telling you through their body language.
There are volumes written about this subject, but I would like to point out a couple of signals I have encountered often. First: Someone leaning back away from the table probably is telling you that they are not buying into what you are proposing. Second: Nervousness is often shown by constant swinging of the leg. Third: Pay particular attention to the other person’s eyes. We can pretty much control the muscles in our lower face, but not the upper portion. Professional poker players understand this and have take to wearing sunglasses to avoid one set of “tells” from their game.
Periodically, you also need to remind yourself to pay attention to what kind of messages you, and the other members of your team, may be sending through your body language. There is nothing worse than putting something out on the table and having one of your team members sit there and shake his head “no” while you are explaining your position. Something like this could not only cause the other party to flatly reject your position, but also could cause them to question your integrity.
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Continuing down the list of power negotiating tips brings us to number four of the “5 R’s” which is: Refrain from “splitting the difference”.
Avoid falling into the perception that is widely attributed to most North American negotiators — an eagerness to get to the bottom line quickly to make the issue go away by “splitting the difference.” Outside the United States many cultures picture us as John Wayne riding in on a white horse with guns blazing saying something like “Here’s what we’re going to do now, so we can move on”.
If you are recognized as someone who is uncomfortable with negotiating so that you often split the difference, the other party will soon learn to adjust their sights and ratchet up the stakes in their favor. If you are completely honest with yourself, when you negotiated your last major purchase like a car or a house, at some point you either got tired of negotiating, or you got frustrated with the process, and you ended up by “splitting the difference”.
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Continuing down the list of Do’s brings us to the third of the five “R’s” which is: Request Information; ask open ended questions.
The key here is to acknowledge that information is power; the more you have the better your negotiating position. As such, you want to stay away from questions that can be answered with a simple “yes” or “no”. Phrase your questions in such a way as to get the other party talking so you can gather information.
This is not intended to be devious. It is something you need to practice to ensure that you have as much information as possible to better your chances of achieving a satisfactory, or a better, outcome. Let’s face it, if you were to jump to the bottom line without getting as many facts as possible, the likelihood of your achieving the best outcome would be diminished.
Be realistic, if you were about to make a significant purchase like a car or a home, you would gather a significant amount of information before finalizing your decision. Why not take the same approach with all negotiations?
It is pretty basic to assume that the more information you have before agreeing to something, the more likely it is that you will have a better outcome. I learned this lesson the hard way when I gave away what I believed to be a very minor concession without first getting more information as to why the other party wanted what I thought was a minor extension in royalty payments. As it turned out, without this concession, the other party’s deal would have totally collapsed due to withdrawal of the bank’s financing.
Just keep in mind that information is power. At the end of the day, the more information you have the better the final outcome, so ask open ended questions, not those that can be answered with a simple “yes” or “no”.
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Two weeks ago I outlined the “Five R’s” to help you improve your negotiations. Now let’s fill in the blanks remembering that these tips apply to your personal life as well as your business dealings.
The first “R” is: Remember everything in life is negotiable. It works! Think about it for a minute and then try it! Next time you go to make a purchase ask the clerk or the store manager when the item is going on sale and whether you can get the sale price. If you are purchasing more than one, ask if there is a quantity discount. Appeal to their desire to make a sale before you leave empty handed and take your business elsewhere. Just keep this thought in mind as you are negotiating. It is your money and it will spend anywhere. If you remember this last point, you will soon realize that you are in the power position.
Approach your telephone, internet and other service providers with the same thought process to see if you can get the lower prices being offered to new customers. Your providers know, and you need to understand, that retaining an existing customer is less costly than acquiring a new customer. Play the customer loyalty card. If customer service cannot help you, ask to be transferred to the customer retention department. I saved $300 in 30 minutes by taking this approach.
The second “R” is: Realize you only get what you ask for. Said another way, if you don’t ask, you don’t get.
The key for you is to link these two “R’s” together in your mind and get out there and try it. You’ll soon find out it works, it feels good and it will save you $$$$$.
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In my last article dated September 9th, I provided you with an overview of how to achieve better outcomes from your personal and your business negotiations by following ten power negotiating tips.
Today’s article will begin to focus on the “Do’s” or the 5 R’s.
In the next few articles, we’ll explore each one of them in more detail.
When you look at them, the the 5 R’s are fundamental to success in every negotiation. These are the tips that every experienced negotiator will bring to the negotiating table. Rather than just providing you with a list and moving on, the following list is only partially complete by design. It provides you the opportunity to fill in the blanks and compare your thoughts with what I have learned over the years. Who knows, maybe you will come up with an even better tip.
In the meantime, here are the tips that have worked for me.
DO (The 5 R’s)
1. Recognize everything in life is _____________.
2. Realize you only ________what you ____________.
3. Request information; ask ____________________.
4. Refrain from “___________________” just to make it easy.
5. Read the ________________ of others.
In the next few articles, we’ll fill in the blanks and discuss each of the R’s before we move on to the Don’ts or the GAFFS.
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Long before I realized it, I began to assimilate clues about people and about negotiating from my time in the military, and even before that, from the hours I spent in the poolroom. While I did not realize it at the time, all of these clues would come together during my business career. In fact, I am convinced that without the poolroom and military background dealing with a vast variety of people, I never would have been successful in negotiating “deals” in the broad array of countries and cultures in which I later found myself.
Although negotiating is an art, and each “deal” has unique aspects, there are some fundamentals that can be applied to every successful negotiation. In fact,there are ten fundamental tips that I want to share with you. I can assure you, if you apply these tips to all of your negotiations, your results will improve and your level of satisfaction will grow. I would even venture to say that your chances of establishing a more satisfactory, long-term relationship with the other party also will increase.
There are ten tips that you will need to remember — there are “Five Do’s” and “Five Don’ts.” To make it easier for you to remember,I have developed acronyms for each group. The “Do’s” are The 5 R’s; the “Don’ts” are the “GAFFS”.
Beginning September 20th I will begin a series on the “5 R’s” and the “GAFFS” so you will be able apply them to your business and your personal negotiations to achieve better outcomes and save $$$$$$.
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I recently heard a story from someone I had spoken with about asking for something in return before you give something away. This is a great story!
Someone I know recently took their SUV in for an oil change and was told that it was time for some regularly scheduled maintenance. The dealership — one of two owned by the group — quoted a price in excess of $400 for the scheduled maintenance plus the oil change. My friend paid $29.95 for the oil change and said they would think about the other recommended maintenance as they did not happen to have another $400+ for discretionary spending at that time.
About two weeks later, a card arrived in the mail from the other dealership within the group offering the identical scheduled maintenance at a somewhat lower price. My friend took that as an opportunity to negotiate, and proceeded to talk to the second dealership. My friend explained that they were upset that the first dealership had tried to take advantage of them by charging full price for the scheduled maintenance in addition to full price for the oil change — good opening tactic. Then the negotiations began in earnest.
THe net result was that the scheduled maintenance was performed at about a $100 savings (more than original discount offered by the second dealership) and
the price was further discounted by virtue of my friend getting additional credit for the $29.95 payment they already had made for the oil change.
For someone who was reluctant to negotiate until recently, getting a discount of over $125 versus the original quote of about $450 is a major success. All I can say is that Jan has earned a place on my list of “New Negotiating Heroes.”
My friend was able to
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One of my friends proudly told me a story about her college student daughter that only reinforced my beliefs that “everything in life is negotiable and you only get what you ask for/negotiate.”
Simply put, the student had to turn in a paper that was not quite finished. As the class started, the professor, who formerly was a practicing lawyer, requested the paper. My friend’s daughter had learned that the professor had given the previous class an extra 10 minutes to finish their papers (“Information is power in negotiations”). She quickly went up to the professor in front of the entire class, stated that she was aware of the time extension given to the prior class, and suggested in the context of fairness and balance that she and the rest of the class be provided the same opportunity.
Not only was she granted the extra time, but when she presented her paper, she was given her best grade yet. What a great outcome. Better yet, what a great negotiating strategy and great negotiation, particularly when you consider the relative positions of professor to student and lawyer to student. All I can add is a well done!!!
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